I watched my movie, the movie of my childhood. The one that grew with me as I grew. I felt Woody and Buzz were a part of me more than most others would. I just felt connected with them. I don't know if that's how you felt but I was genuinely attached to them and the movies. So yea, when news of Toy Story 3 came out you could expect my reaction. HELL YES.

And so I allotted time and my closest friends to take the journey of watching a first premiere with just a group of friends. The timing was perfect, the end of high school, the beginning of a new life, the start of an incredible summer. Everything was in its place. Life as an adult, my voter card coming in the previous day. I felt grown-up and mature. An adult. Spending these last moments with friends with the breeze in our hair before we parted our ways to different colleges and different lives was wonderful.

Then time passed and we seated ourselves with our Toy Story spirit gear on, me and my Woody tattoo and matching Toy Story shirt with Ally which I'm still wearing right now, and my friends' custom made Toy Story shirts. Perfect. My dad also got pulled over by a cop. That was just added excitement and torture for the overall thrill of the day. I was worried, as I always am, that we wouldn't get good seats (we did). We sat down, put on our 3D glasses and laughed, smiled, clapped, and cried. I shall never forget how the movie shook me. It was different but it was Toy Story. It was the same but it was alive. It was, it simply just WAS.

The two parts which killed me were the incinerator part. The time when Buzz held Jessie's hand and when Woody looked at Buzz and Buzz looked at Woody. That killed me. Once. I really do think a part of me died and came back to life. It was just so ....full of awe and alarm.

Then my Andy, the one that grew up with me and was going to college with me. He grew up from being just a kid to your every day adolescent to a mature adult. He wasn't like other kids, he kept, like me, what meant most to him. He kept his toys as I kept the ones very close to me. IT KILLS ME STILL when he gave away his toys to Bonnie. I love Bonnie, don't get me wrong, but I trusted Andy but cannot really put full faith in this girl. I want Andy to keep his toys forever but all the same I know that that would be a fruitless action. Alas, I wish he would keep in touch with them. It was when he gave away Woody reluctantly and started playing them one last bittersweet time did I truly cry my heart out. I never cry in movies, I did for the death of Lelouch and for Benjamin Button but those were lone tears. I cried for my childhood. I didn't want to let go. I haven't really let go though. I'm still there with my good ol' toy friends, I'm going to buy myself a Buzz and Woody, and keep them forever. I would, yes I'll say it, want to be buried with them if at all possible.

Thank you Pixar for concluding a childhood of mine with grace and love. It was wonderful. I feel alleviated. This isn't a goodbye, its a hello for things to come.